


If Happy Ever After Did Exist

by winnerstick



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-09
Updated: 2012-09-09
Packaged: 2017-11-13 21:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/507777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winnerstick/pseuds/winnerstick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Roxas wasn't enough, Sora took over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Happy Ever After Did Exist

When he was seventeen, he changed his identity.

He was no longer Roxas. He dyed his beautiful blonde hair into a warm chocolate brown color. He threw out all his old clothes and created a brand new wardrobe. If he could change his blue eyes, he probably would have, but his eyes rejected contacts. He smiled more often and while Roxas had never been an unfriendly guy, he didn’t set out making friends. This new identity put himself out there and made friends with almost everyone. Roxas was suddenly off the grid; in his place was Sora.

Sora got upset when any reference to his other was made. At first, he was confused when teachers referred to him as Roxas. During attendence the first day, he didn’t even recognize the name as his own. He was marked absent in every period until he finally declared “Wow, I have a lot of classes with this Roxas kid!” Namine, who had been his friend before the change, had to correct the misunderstanding.

No one knew why he did it. His mother insisted it had happened overnight for no reason.

“He’s just being a boy,” she insisted. “Who am I to diminish his creativity? He’ll go back to being Roxas before you know it.”  
But as far as Sora was concerned, Roxas was a completely different person, rather than his other identity. One that, for whatever reason, people kept mistaking him for. But he had seen the pictures, and he just didn’t see it. 

His new step-father refused to talk about it. He continued to call Sora Roxas, no matter how upset it made the boy. But he had never been one to particularly care for his step-son’s feelings. He had made it clear from early on in his relationship with Sora’s mother that he did not care about the boy’s well-being. He found every weak point in the child and exploited it. Digs at how much he looked and behaved like his deadbeat father and no wonder no one would ever love him. He reprimanded everything Roxas did, no matter if they were at home or not. Even in public he would harshly correct what he considered to be “out-of-control” behavior. His mother would sit idly by as Roxas was silenced by a single look and shrank into himself as the man started to call him any number of cruel words. His favorites were lazy, garbage, worthless, and scum.  
But he had never been hurt by him. Oh no. Xemnas had never laid a hand on him; Roxas’s mother would never stand for that. Because abuse of any kind would not happen to her boy.

They married only three days before Roxas’s senior year. Sora came in and replaced the boy the next day. When he came home with his hair newly browned, his mother screamed. She almost didn’t recognize him and wasn’t sure how a stranger had made his way into their home.

—-

Axel had been warned about the situation. His mother had mentioned in passing when Axel had asked how things were while he had been at school. But now he was home and newly graduated from college and he realized just how trivial his mother had made it seem. She had said it like Roxas had simply decided to go by a new name; he didn’t realize he had changed his entire persona.

Sora was different. He was open and friendly and painfully polite. He made a brave face even when Axel could tell he was still hurt. Roxas mostly kept to himself and he fought against injustices. Sora let illtreatment roll off his back with almost no change in emotion or loss of composure; Roxas was passionate and let his emotions rule him. Roxas considered it his worst quality, but Axel believed it was his best. He had bad reactions sometimes, but he was so much more real. He was the only truly honest person that Axel knew.

Sora wasn’t honest. He skirted the truth to preserve the feelings of those who didn’t always deserve it. He was kind and he was fun to talk to, but the thing was, he just wasn’t Roxas.

He wasn’t Roxas in his hair or his behavior or even his walk. He wasn’t honest like Roxas. He wasn’t as thoughtful as Roxas. Roxas would think over everything and ponder his own existence at times. He did everything for the good of everyone around him, but he never let anyone know. Everyone knew that Roxas was a good guy and they all liked him, for the most part. But Roxas was much more like an onion; many layered. He wasn’t obvious in his kindness to others. In fact, people often didn’t know that he was the one doing the charity. Roxas preferred his anonymity. Sora wanted to be noticed and loved. He was just as good of a person as Roxas, he was just more straightforward about it. He wasn’t Roxas.

The only thing he and Roxas had in common were their eyes. Roxas’s eyes always gave away everything, even the things he didn’t want people to know. Sora had that same quality to him. Axel could look into his eyes and see everything he didn’t want to say. He saw the true emotions that Sora was trying to hide in those big beautiful eyes. He saw the hurt in Sora’s eyes every time he looked at the redhead. He saw Roxas. Those eyes belonged to Roxas and Roxas alone.

—-

It didn’t matter that before Axel had Roxas; he didn’t have him anymore. He had fallen in love with the boy that was five years his junior. Something about the way he freaked out if anyone messed up his hair and the way he always tapped his fingers on whatever surface was closest made the redhead fall for the blonde. Something about the way he was always brutally honest, just because that was how he talked. He didn’t mean to be. He didn’t mean to be frank and blunt and brutal, it just came out that way.

But something had changed. Something had made Roxas turn into this other person. Probably to preserve what was left after his step-father had wounded him in ways Roxas didn’t even know he could be hurt.

Somewhere along the way, though, Sora had fallen in love. Sora had found someone to love him just the way he needed. Riku was perfect for him. The college freshman had developed a soft spot for the brunette and treated him exactly the way Sora deserved to be treated. He gave him attention and love in every way possible. He was right for Sora, and despite how much it hurt Axel to admit it, he knew he no longer was.

Maybe at some point there was a chance for them, but now all that he saw was Sora. The only trace of Roxas remained in those beautiful eyes, and Axel was almost certain the boy he had loved, and was sure had loved him in return, was unattainable.

But still, he hoped. He hoped and he wished that maybe, some day, Roxas would come back to him. It didn’t matter how often he saw the couple holding hands and whispering to each other. It didn’t matter how often he saw them kiss. He knew that somewhere, deep down, Roxas would always need him.

He knew it every time he saw the man with the white hair and the tanned skin look at his beautiful boy with contempt. He knew it every time the brunette smiled that fake smile that only Sora could manage to make look that real. He knew it every time he looked in his eyes and saw the fear, the hurt, and the confusion behind him.

He knew it on the night when Sora got drunk. Drunk enough to stumble to Axel’s apartment, even though their friendship had remained strained. That was what happened when one person changed their entire persona, leaving the other in the dark. That was what happened when love lost was painful enough that Axel sometimes couldn’t bear to be in the boy’s presense. But, still, he pressed for a friendship, because if he couldn’t be there for Roxas, at least he could try to be there for Sora.

That night Sora stumbled to his door and practically fell in once Axel opened it for him. His words were confusing and he had to lean against Axel, and even then his movements were unsure. He mumbled about his step-father and about Riku and as Axel tucked him into his own bed, he looked at Axel with such a look of fondness that he knew that, for at least that moment, his Roxas had come back to him.

“It’s love, y’know,” the boy mumbled, and Axel wasn’t quite sure if it was Sora or Roxas speaking to him. “It’ll always be you. Sora needs Riku, but Roxas will always need Axel.”  
And, at least for that moment, it was enough.


End file.
